Imbalance path.

life
Imbalance. 

It's been few months plus I didn't drop by here, I always remind myself to take a short time to upload a post, yes at least one post to be contribute.... 
Yet, the more I remind myself the more I neglect it, am I giving myself an excuse?
Myself know it...
Perhaps when the time I wish to express out via here.

 Recently, I have a big question keep on flash in my mind.
How much could I stand balance with the path that I had chosen?
What is the right direction for me to move forward?
What is the purpose I am doing right now?
Am I doing the things I want or else?
Should I follow own way or their way to choose the path for myself?
Question keep pop on my mind and where can I find the real answer?

I can't deny that I'm kind of lazy type, or actually I want it simple way, systematic way.
Dear readers, if you did read my previous post, you must know that I had changed my job, yea..the 2nd job that I have right now.
So far so good...?

Another question that makes me feel hard to answer, good doesn't mean happy... bad doesn't mean worse at all ...
Perhaps I don't find any benefit / value for myself.
 Am I learn anything from my current job? Yes, I did but still I understand I have to learn myself.
I am appreciated she (senior executive) guide me right now due to she is going to leave soon. 
Somehow, It seems like I am learning in a very messy & complicated environment, or should said that the way they operate not systematic at all.
Human being? Rules? Excuse? Attitude?

Then only I realize why those staff 'move in move out' frequently..
Any benefits I could gain from here? 
It does, but not that much.
And now,I'm going to handle shipping (yes due to instruction by management) & due to my senior gonna leave. 
And I keep telling myself, I'd try my best even though it does feel pressure.
And someone told me 'it's all about job, take it easy'. 
Does it also mean, 'you take the salary and you should make the contribution.'

Slowly slowly...I believe I will foresee the consequences.
Alright, telling myself that I am gaining experience actually.
 I choose to wrote a post here which I believe I'll feel more better.
It's time to sleep because my brain still thinking what's to follow up and the step to do the things.
God bless me.